Reflections on A Commute to Elementary School

So this morning I drove my daughter and son to school for the last time. No, not the last time, of course, but definitely the last time in this particular way.

For the last 6 years it’s been my daddy duty and joy to drive my kids to school. It started when it was just my daughter going to 5k.

It was a traumatic time for her, as little brudder had just arrived. She was faced with a completely changed childhood; 5 years old and driving off to “big school” while this new, invader baby got to stay home with mommy. During this time there was a certain point on the drive where she would softly start to whimper and cry…quietly because she didn’t want me to notice. By the time I got to carpool line it was nearly sobbing, and I had to let her leave the car with tears streaming down her face.

We had to reassure ourselves that she was going to be ok….that she wasn’t going to end up in prison someday telling Nightline about how her parents made her go to school. My wife and I were both first born, and we’d turned out ok….uh…didn’t we?

This lasted for a month or two until it slowly subsided. Fortunately by the time the year ended she was happily bounding off to kindergarten.

For the next couple years the drive ranged from quiet and pensive to loud and giggly. Sometimes she would stare out the windows or make shadows in the sunlight as it flickered through the trees. Other times she would quietly hum or sing loudly. And of course there were the times where she’d stream endless words at her dad about any subject in particular. Later on if she was quiet I knew she was studying for a test that day.

We’d often make up songs, some of which are long forgotten. Others will live forever, such as the Lamby Song, the Guinea Pig Song, and the Squeaky Mouse Song. There’s also a song about a renegade, law breaking bus driver we saw, but that one probably won’t make the cut!

In 4th grade, the drive changed–in a good way–as Brudder became old enough to ride to 4k at the same school. This added a whole new dimension of fun as the assertions of a strong willed 4 year old boy intersected with the reasoning of a dominant older sister. As before, any given day was different. Sometimes they wouldn’t say a word. Other times they’d have very in depth discussions. Sometimes they’d fight. Other times they’d sing.

From the beginning Sister would help Brother (most of the time without prompting) by buckling his seatbelt, holding on to his backpack, and carrying it for a short time at school. But soon Brother was doing all of this himself, and one day sister exclaimed that he was faster than she was at buckling his seatbelt. They both figured out the exact time they needed to unbuckle, which was shortly after the real road but early enough to give them time to get prepared for departure. We’d all chant “uuuuunnn…..buckle!” as we passed this point.

One day we had to take a different route to school because of traffic, and once Brother knew about this route he would lobby for it in his simple style. “Can we turn left today, dad?” It became his way of making the drive ‘ours’. If we had enough time I’d usually take this route when he brought it up. Around this point of the trip I’d always ask them “what are you going to learn today?” Together they finally saw the flaw in this question. I can’t remember which, but the reply was “I don’t know because we haven’t learned it yet”.

As she’d slide out of the car I’d notice the little toys my daughter had clipped to her backpack….a small stuffed dog, an R2-D2 toy, all sorts of random things that I knew would soon be gone because they wouldn’t be “cool”. God had blessed us with the ability to give her a happy and carefree childhood. And I thanked Him every day for that.

Then when my son would leave the car (after sister because he always got in first), there was a little smirk on his face as all sister’s friends would come over and give him hugs. “He’s so cute!” they would say, and I realized that having an older sister was going to be a huge advantage for my son one day. After they left, I’d loop around and glance over as they’d happily walk in.

This routine has been one of the most fun and rewarding experiences of my life. I know that next year will start it’s own set of routines and joys, but they won’t be like this was.

As I’ve said before, we tend to think time flies and that the best things are ahead of us or behind us….but if we just pay attention to right now, we’ll see that the best is in the present. Time doesn’t go so fast when you slow down and realize that wherever you are, these are the best years of our lives.