Our DTR Story

So this morning our pastor preached again on Ruth, and brought up the concept of a “DTR” between Ruth and Boaz. When he said this, my wife started nodding her head in recognition, which usually means that I’m completely clueless on whatever’s being preached on.

In this case, this was absolutely true. DTR stands for Define The Relationship–an episode in which one person (usually the lady) looks at the other and says “ok….where is this relationship going!?!??!” It can also be a friend who snaps a Z and says “girlfriend, when’s he gonna put a ring on that finger?”, and possibly if she’s evil “what has he done for you lately?”

My wife then reminded me of our own DTR experience, which I will now log for eternity on the Internet. Enjoy, grandchildren.

Our DTR occurred in 1993 at Cheeburger Cheeburger in Auburn, AL.

In this episode of Great DTR’s in History, a sweet, blonde, freckled type A girlfriend looked at her helpless oblivious boyfriend and basically said “so are you ever going to ask me to marry you?”. The boyfriend, clearly not prepared for the conversation, simply started laughing. Experts in human behavior would compare this action to a caveman accidentally charging a mastodon. Or maybe setting himself on fire. Or setting himself on fire and charging a mastodon.

The conversation escalated while the girlfriend became more and more agitated. Meanwhile, the boyfriend just kept on chuckling. Finally, the girlfriend left in disgust while the boyfriend went home and tried to figure out what to do.

Why would an otherwise intelligent boy engage in such suicidal behavior?

The problem facing the boyfriend was that he had just recently made the large purchase of a diamond engagement ring. He had done this after going into a bank with his father (as cosigner) to commit a couple years of minimum wage labor to finance the goods. Additionally, he had gone up to the workplace of the girl’s father to ask the man’s blessing on a marriage engagement (which the boy received).

The ring for various reasons was being shipped to his grandmother’s house. So there was no flexibility in popping the question.

In short, this poor guy was so worried that he would somehow spill the beans or otherwise telegraph his master plan that his little brain could just muster a laugh. It was all he could do to hide his emotions!

Eventually she forgave me, and we got engaged in February 1994 on the way to a sting concert. The rest is history.